when somebody asks you what your talents are:
you know you’re getting old when you watch the little mermaid and when ariel says “i’m 16 years old. i’m not a child anymore.” and you’re just sat there like yes you fucking are young lady stop it
The day you start agreeing with the parents in kids movies is the day it’s all over.
Teacher: “Why couldn’t you do homework?”
Me: I was watching something important
He behaves so well, even during a bath!